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Feminism: The Other F-Word

  • Writer: Erica Farner
    Erica Farner
  • Jun 30, 2018
  • 3 min read

There comes a time in every female's life when she realizes that things are different for her than they are for males.

For some females, that time comes when she's only a little girl, sitting in the nurse's office at school and waiting for her parents, pulled out of her second grade class because two inches of her stomach showed between her shirt and pants.

Sometimes, that time comes when she's excited to be wearing her first training bra and the boy who sits behind her in class snaps the strap against her back. She turns around to berate him for violating her personal space and gets scolded by a teacher who claims that the boy only teases her because he likes her, and she needn't get so angry over nothing.

Sometimes, she realizes this when she's fifteen and tries to explain something to her younger brother and her brother's friend speaks over her, forcing her into silence as though she has no idea what she's talking about. He is, after all, of superior intellect because he's a male.

For a lucky few— not that being made small is lucky— it doesn't come until she's an adult and starts at her first office job, where she has to slap her boss's hand away from her far too often. It's at that same job that she gets paid only eighty percent of what her equally-qualified male coworker gets for doing the same job.

Before you think that I'm just whining and complaining, consider that these situations are 100% real to women. They happen every single day. Sure, there are women around the world who have it worse than we do in America, but I've always been a proponent of the sentiment, "Just because someone else has it worse, it doesn't mean you can't be upset."

And you should be upset, or at the very least bothered, whether you're a female or not. Because it's a big ol' load of bull.

It should be upsetting that a woman who has multiple sexual partners is a slut, but a man who has multiple sexual partners is a god.

It should be upsetting that, if a woman is raped, she's asked if she was sober or if she was wearing revealing clothing— implying that "she was asking for it."

It should be upsetting that Heidi Klum saved two people from drowning, and the headline of the news story highlighted the fact that her breast fell out of her bikini top.

You see where I'm going with this?

Heaven forbid I breastfeed in a public place without a cover, because my breasts are only there to be oogled and to seduce instead of, I don't know, NOURISHING A BABY.

Heaven forbid that I walk down the street, get catcalled, and ignore the man who did it. I'm suddenly stuck up, and not worth your time anyway. And when I'm hit on, I have to say, "I'm married," as opposed to, "I'm not interested," because my right to say no is less respected than the fact that I'm in a relationship.

Heaven forbid that I speak my mind or take on a leadership role, because then I'm being bossy.

Don't even get me started on the fact that I have to pay every month for tampons, only to feel embarrassed and ashamed into calling it my "Aunt Flo" as opposed to my menstrual cycle. (News flash, you wouldn't exist without menstrual cycles. They should not be taboo.)

Women are just expecting to always look perfect, always "know their place," always sit down and shut up, and always submit to males. And I'm really, really, really tired of it.

I want to feel like it's okay to blossom in today's society. I want to be able to sit with my knees apart and belch without being told, "That's unladylike." Or forget to shave my legs for a few days and not be looked at like I'm disgusting. Or be respected for my intelligence, my opinions, my outspoken nature, and my skills, as opposed to my butt, my breasts, my legs, and my pretty face.

Feminism isn't shouting at the top of your voice, "Down with men!" It's shouting at the top of your voice, "I want equality!"

I am not a lesser human being just because I am not a male. If you don't think we need feminism, you're completely blind. It's high time things change.

Disclaimer: Yes, men are assaulted and mistreated, too. Men are told that they can't be emotional or nurturing, they should be out working instead of home with children, and a whole host of other things. I'm not saying that men do not face problems; they do. I'm merely saying that feminism has been grossly ill-defined, and the true definition is something we all need.

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